Just a thought…

I am tired of crying.

What I learned from Sunday Mass

Here’s little something I’d like to share….just a short video clip of what has been shown during today’s Homily. 

Sapul sa heart. <3

It’s waaaaaay past my bedtime already and I’ve got work tomorrow so — my apologies for the shortcut.;)   Get the story behind the father and paralyzed son who joined the Ironman Race here.

Welcome to Lahlahland

While I was on my way home from work, I saw a local lady chasing after people making way through an entrance of Tanjong Pagar MRT.  I suppose people were avoiding her on purpose since she was taking surveys (which is considered a waste of time, considering majority of them are rushing to go home).  Unfortunately, I made this huge mistake of passing within her proximity, therefore making me her easiest target. 

Nako, pucha, next thing I knew I was answering her blasted survey.

She was about thirty-ish, all primped up and prettified to be standing on the sidewalk and chasing after strangers.  People must have been avoiding her like plague for half an hour or so.  How can I resist her?

Lady:  I won’t take too much of your time, dun worry lah…
Me:  (Sa isip ko: Pucha sana nga kasi gutom na gutom na ko!) Nah, it’s ok.
Lady: (Pointing at a pie chart on her survey sheet)  So what do you consider important at this point in time?
Me:  Uhhhhmmm…*kamot ulo* well….probably savings, health, investments.
Lady:  How about security?
Me:  (Sabay tawa) ME? Worry about security here in Singapore? I don’t think so.  Maybe if I was back in the Philippines it would have mattered.
Lady:  Oh?  You’re from the Philippines?  I thought you were singaporean.
Me:  (Sa isip ko:  Lolah, joke mo ba ko??? Wala akong accent tulad nio..haller?!) No, I’m from the Philippines.
Lady:  PR already?
Me:  No, no, don’t have plans to.
Lady:  Really?  Most Filipinos I know apply for PR as soon as they start working here.
Me:  Err…we’ve applied for residency somewhere else.
Lady:  (Taas kilay) Why-ah?  Singaporeans bully you?

Gusto kong matawa at this point, gusto ko sabihin:  Would you look at yourselves, utang na loob? Does it look like you guys can make us shit our pants????

Me:  Well, I think Singaporeans are generally nice people. *barfs*

She spent the few minutes or so inquiring about my insurance and all until I had to make a lousy excuse that I had to run some errands.

***

On my way home, I was thinking what I could have answered in place of “nice” and the possible repercussions of each adjective inserted:

1.)  RUDE – Well, its true.  I could have answered this instinctively but then, this where I live.  And I guess I’ll have to keep my end of the bargain while I’m here.:)

2.)  PLEASANT? – Err..hindi ren.

3.)  IRATE – Kulang sa sex life perhaps? Totoo naman e, they always sound like I’m guilty of something I haven’t even done.

4.) FRIENDLY - the Pasir Ris community gets my vote.:)  The Kun Kaya cashier makes it a point to stop by our table to say hello if and when it’s not too crowded.  The Sweet Talk lady remembers to put an extra dollop of honey on my red tea.:)  Basta, I love them.  If there is a place here in Singapore I am ultra ultra grateful for?  It will always be Pasir Ris.

Sabagay, there are two sides of a coin naman.   There will always be rude bastards out there, but then they can’t be outweighed by the good ones, trust me. You can’t actually generalize a race, or we can’t judge people for their color, beliefs or culture.  It’s all a matter of acceptance. 

Wala namang perfect sa mundo e.

Maging merry kaya ang Christmas ko?

La lang. Pre-spreading the cheer.   Advance merry, merry christmas everyone.

 

***

Taken from Tampines Mall kasi kakaset-up lang nila ng Xmas Decor this week.  Can’t wait to see what the malls in Orchard have in store for us.:)

So Near Yet So Far

I’ve been very quiet about this during the past few weeks.   This is very typical of me naman — I don’t open up about unpleasant things that are happening to me, gusto ko more or less, nalagpasan ko na yung isang situation before I actually talk about it.   Sabi ng mom ko its not such a good habit kasi dapat daw, during the process itself (of suffering, or of whatever it is), meron akong pinagsasabihan so I’m not carrying the burden all to myself. 

Well, I’ve been quiet about this because I wanted this to be a surprise and I was wishing/praying for a happy ending.  But what the hell, there are no fireworks, no happy ending, no anything.

Para kong naka-suspend in mid-air and with nothing to land on but angry, spewing molten lava.

—

On the last weeked of October, husb and I went to KL for three days, I did not have access to the internet.  Prior to the trip kasi, I’ve been sending my cvs on a daily basis so kahit papano, meron at merong sumasagot.

Walang wi-fi sa Westin, or sa Novotel, and the connection sa KLCC was soooooooooooo unbelievably slow (okay, this is the main reason why I love living in SG — hahahaha NOT!), so I wasn’t able to check my emails for three days.  Three days!  Seemed like an eternity (quoting RawBoy).  Ni hindi nga ko makatulog on the train back home.  I was thinking baka may nagreply nah!!!

Okay, ayoko na gamitan ng flowery adverbs and adjectives yung kwento ko so true enough, when I came home and went through my mails, I got an email from an HR from Aecom.  I was like “holy sh*t, Aecom ‘to, never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect papansinin nila cv ko.”  So yeah, they were asking if I was still interested in so and so position daw, they’d like to interview me via phone and get in touch with them daw as soon as possible.

Of course, muntik na ko himatayin sa tuwa.  And of course, an opportunity like this makes my head work overtime….granting that I get in, makakaalis kami in a few months.  We’re getting a place of our own,  oh sh*t this is it, it’s not a very popular place but whatthehell its still Canada!!! Plus the fact that I will be working for one of the largest engineering firms in North America.  And as I’ve said time and time again, never ako pinansin ng HR — I couldn’t believe it.

I sent a reply, letting them know my time of availability for a phone interview.  Let’s take into consideration that we’re under two different time zones so I had to specify a time they can call otherwise, I might be unprepared (READ:  in the middle of sleep therefore, bangenge). 

A day passed, walang reply from them so I thought of giving them a call (well, due to husb’s prodding).  This lady picked up and said she remembers me daw and they’re still scheduling interviews kaya they haven’t emailed me a date and time.  So, okay lang, no biggie.

Eto pa, I remembered Ate Lei wrote me a few months ago prior to that, she gave me a couple of companies I can apply to.  Isa na nga yun.  And not just that,  they conduct telephone interviews(!) plus they offer work sponsorship(!) aaaaaaand they shoulder relocation expenses!  Of course, I didn’t want to screw this up. 

If there was one thing peculiar though, I don’t remember applying for the position I was going to be interviewed for.  Mahirap magrecall ng mga inemail at inapplyan lalo na pag sobrang dami na noh!  I logged in sa careers section nila, and unfortunately they don’t keep track of the jobs openings you applied for.  Meron lang naka-save na job profile na pwede mong edit anytime.  But that’s it.

So pasalamat na lang ng bonggang bongga sa google, I searched and found this job opening pa and when I read thorugh it, nakita ko sa qualifications,  hindi man lang talaga ko umabot sa minimum requirement nila.   It was a senior position – so how the hell was I even considered???  Husb said, I should be thankful and wait to be interviewed, period.  Wag nang matanong because for sure na-filter yung mga applicants. 

Okay.

At the back of my head I was thinking, ano nga bang inapplyan ko sa Aecom?  So I went through my docs (eto ang perks pag OC ka sa electronic filing), and eto ka na, ibang position nga inapplyan ko.  It was for a different team altogether.  Same area in Canada though.  So I assume they keep cvs available to all hiring managers across the country. 

Good.

Taka ko lang, antagal nung phone call.  Its been a few days, ganoon ba talaga katagal magschedule ng interview?  Its a big company, fine, but hindi pa dapat mas structured na yung system nila?  I’ve been entertaining all these thoughts para palagpasin kung bakit ang tagal nila kong i-contact ulit… Siguro madaming applicants for other positions.  Siguro they can only do so much interviews in one day.

Pero hindi rin, eh.

I emailed the HR lady a few days back (sa sobrang frustration din siguro) and asked the sort of time frame I might be scheduled for — gusto ko din sanang mag alibi na, “I’ll be overseas so you better let me know!!!”  But I never got a reply from her.

Yeah, and just like husb, I suddenly realized how it feels malagay sa situation nia.  I am now the one waking up several times during the wee hours of the morning.  Naghihintay ng reply.  Nafufrustrate.  Nalilito.

Sabi kay husb ng ex-officemate nia (who’s now in Alberta), uso daw yun.  It happened to her din daw.  One day may opening, the next day wala pala.  

Granting that there was indeed an error on their side, all I wanted was a courtesy notification to say there was some kind of mistake, so and so and that there wasn’t going to be any interview taking anytime soon.  Basta.  Something.  So that merong closure.  I mean how hard could it be to say this — “We’re sorry, we may have overlooked your profile.  We apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused.”

How effing hard could that be?  

These past few days, I just gave up waiting.  Come to think of it, I was almost there.  Pucha, almost.  I could almost taste the snow flake in my mouth.

Depressing Post. Don’t Read.

Wow. I can’t believe how fast time flies.  Isipin mo, since my last entry, a month and a half has passed.  Parang a few days ago lang yun a.  Well, the sad part is, if you’re expecting something major has happened to me since that day until this writing….ermf.  S-U-C-K-S.  Walang nangyari.  There are several aspects of my life I would like to discuss in this entry pero I might sound so incoherent, they’re all mere plots and walang conclusion.  That’s how I’d very much describe my life right now — walang direksiyon.

I’ve stopped counting days, weeks and months.  It only makes me more frustrated than I already am.  Nothing concrete from Canada yet.  Plus, yung job offer kay husb eh — pucha ayoko na umasa talaga because pinaasa lang kami ni potential employer…..he asked for sample works, negotiated the salary eklavu and went to the extent of emailing the job scope only to find out in the end, they were just asking around pala and there wasn’t any confirmed job opening.  Taragis, how cruel is that?  How many nights were we up waiting for his goddamn reply?

Sige na nga, if there was one thing na magandang nangyari out of this, it drove us mad kaya send kami ng send ng cv kung saan saang lupalop ng Canada.  Nunavut, Yukon Territory, FortMcMurray, Nova Scotia, or some places I haven’t even heard of – sige go!   Requirements: 10 years progressive experience,  driver’s license, knowledge of Revit — pucha…go!  Konting konti na lang pati room attendant, crossing guard at dog-walker papatulan ko na rin.  Hay nako, kung marunong lang din ako magkulot at magmanicure eh di nag-apply na din ako. 

THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is how frustrated I’ve become.  Kahit hindi ko line of expertise, I just want to go.

Okay, lumang linya na ito.  Gasgas na gasgas na.  You’ve been hearing this since we were still in Dubai.  Now I’m having the same feeling all over again.  Well….even worse.  Minsan, I don’t know if its right to feel this way and all but, sometime sana I didn’t coerce husb to transfer here.  Gusto ko iuntog ulo ko sa pader haaaaaaaayyyyy why the hell did I think of leaving?! 

After all that’s been said and done, I really thought makakaalis kami agad.  I even went to the extent of not looking for a serious job here because I was hell-bent on finding one abroad.  Yoko na dito ayoooookoooo naaaaahhhh!!!!!!!! Just like yung nangyari sa brother ng orgmate ko, THIS chapter is the chapter of my life na gusto ko nang ibaon sa limot and never to be remembered again.  Kahit anong baliktad gawin ko, there’s nothing really left for me to do here.  Aside from the fact that no one replies, I don’t have the WILL to find anything permanent here.  I just feel depressed waking every single of my life for the past few months now.  Only to find out that there’s nothing in store for me.   Minsan I think, pucha, ano nga ba ginagawa ko dito?  Occupying space, spending money, wasting water and electricity, wasting my life.  Hay.

I hope he understands why I am dying to go home.  It’s the fact that I’m doing nothing here and it seems like wala na talaga.  Yes. I’ve lost every single straw of hope. 

That aspect, he doesn’t quite grasp the whole concept of it.  Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

Hay.

Is there a career in here?

Tama bang gawain ito??? Mag-post muna ng entry before job-hunting?  Well, I need to take a breather after sending my resume to almost 30+ companies in Canada and in the US.  The job hunting and negotiating part has taken its toll on husb (former boyf hehehe) after one almost (aaallmmmmoooossst — like an inch apart) confirmed job.  And now its taking its toll on me.  Let me show you how far (or how short, depends on how you look at it) we’ve come.  Here are the stats:

•  4 automated responses.  I already know them by heart: “Thank you for sending your resume, we regret that not all applicants will be contacted.  If you do not hear from us within 3 to 4 weeks, your application has been unsuccessful.”  Ganun? 
•  1 email from a Filipino manager based in Calgary.  He was very helpful and very accommodating to my emails and queries.  After a couple of emails thrown back and forth, their HR says, they do offer relocation assistance/work sponsorship to SENIOR POSITIONS ONLY.  Ouch.
• 1 email from mommy’s friend living in Toronto, who asked me to re-format my resume as it is –  too detailed?
• 2 emails from a former virtual friend (chatmate;P), now real-life friend, who’s migrated to Canada 15+ years ago, who’s been very helpful in providing me with companies who are willing to sponsor foreign workers like us. *sigh*  Please God.
• 0 interviews/further queries.  And so far –
• 0 jobs landed.

 Which I admit, is kind of frustrating already.  Although I don’t think I’m in the position to give up all that easily.  No, not at this point.  Not after all this trouble.

—

As husb and I were discussing our job-hunting woes,  I ask how he goes about his applications, or how detailed he gets, and if he looks for specific people to correspond with.  I am not sure if you have the same experience as me when doing online applications, where I rarely get past the HR.  I feel like when I email resumes and cover letters to a general email address such as:  hr@xxxx..com or careers@xxxx…com, it seems to stay there forever, like a lost soul in purgatory.  On the contrary, when I email my stuff over to “real people,” I do get a response.  Okay, they’re not necessarily positive responses but hey, the guy on the other side exists!

Which brings me to say I am quite OC with my online applications.  I try to avoid applying through career sections, and try to well — “hunt” specific people to e-mail.  Then I know there might be a greater chance to being granted an interview (okay, not necessarily as far as this, but you get what I mean?).  I was telling husb, I am particular about sending cover letters with complete names and designations, and if available, mailing addresses to be included, just like how you’d go about a normal company letter.  I know this isn’t necessary considering they’re e-mailed(!), but that’s just me.  So it may be time consuming and all, but I do take the time to “search” these people I email, to make sure I have the correct and updated information about them.  In this case, I have come to realize how readily available our information online can be.  There’s this one guy I sent my resume to, and after googling (Google is my friend ;P) his name, displayed more than the info I needed.

“You know, I know where he plays golf,” I told husb. “And I know he writes for the church bulletin.”

“Are you online stalking again?”

Well, like most of you know,  I have abandoned that “hobby” of mine already,  I gave it up a loooong, looooong time ago.  I still do it sometimes though, at a milder degree, like when my mom needs to contact an old classmate…or…for emergency purposes ONLY (let me be clear with that — wait do I sound defensive?)?  Years ago, I used to stalk husb’s ex girlfriends, and I feel guilty about it, as there is an enormous amount of information available over the internet.  More than enough.  And to think there weren’t social networking sites then, i.e. facebook, friendster, etc.  So literally, I USED TO search from scratch.  Friends ask me to look for certain people, and the day after, I can produce phone numbers, addresses, emails, the works.

“You know, you might have a career there as I  can see how talented you are,” husb says.” Well, its a sort of fly by night thing.  Private investigators have tiny ads over the newspaper.”

Hmmm.  OMG. Lol. It sounds so freaky.  And….sinful.

—-

P.S.  No, I don’t have a facebook account.  And no, I don’t stalk people through social networking sites.  I have a friendster account though, which is very active, as it is what I use to get in touch with my relatives.  And that’s it.  There are strangers who’d occassionally message and add me up because they want to see my wedding pictures.  Yes, I add up friends even if I don’t remember meeting them, for as long as we have a friend in common.  No, I am not opening a facebook account.     

And no, I don’t stalk people.

My Weekend in Numbers :P

One weekend of discovery.  Twenty-nine couples.  Two choices. 

One decision — to love him forever.

Woes of A CALL(centre)GIRL: 6282-xxxx

Me:  Hi, Good Evening.  My name is Yvette and I’m calling from ______ Properties.  Can I talk to the unit owner please?

A very angry Mr. Wong:  You people, have been calling me several times owwreeyddii!!! I tell you STOP CALLING ME!!  BULLSHIT you all!! There are people asleep here.

I look at the clock and its barely half past 8.

Me:  Sir, it’s the first time I’ve ca—-

Mr. Wong slams phone.

…

Dear Mr. Wong,

Hi! Remember me?  I was the cheerful young lady who made the hugest mistake of keying in your stupid phone number.  And you were the emmeffing b*tch at the end other line awhile back.  May I just ask why such lack of manners attitude over the phone?  Bad day, I guess, huh?  But did you really have to channel your vibes all the way to me?  I understand you might be tired from work and all that, but did you care to realize the fact that on the other end of the line are TIRED people as well and deserve the right to be as bitchy and IRATE as you are?  And isn’t it quite abnormal you screaming at me to stop bothering you since it’s your bedtime…oh wait, at 8:30?   Wow. Your life must be really REALLY be exciting then, huh?

I quite understand that you may be a very busy man, but, granting that phone call made, a simple “Not interested” will do.  Really, we all can take it from there.

Go on sleep tight.  Hug your teddy.  I might get off from work at half before midnight, with a hoarse voice and an itchy throat and yeah, it will take me an hour to get home.  But remember this, Mr. Wong.  I will be taking a long shower tonight, and I will be climbing in a comfy bed and lay beside the love of my life and get a little hand massage from him perhaps.  I’m sure with you and your potty mouth, no one has even bothered to give you one.

And oh yeah, I’m getting my payslip tomorrow.  And you…..lol, probably will get one of those damned phone calls again. I have sure taken you out of my list.  But. Has it ever crossed your mind that your number has been in circulation and sure is in every realtor’s listing? So…..

Hey, good riddance.

Y.

Are you smarter than a 5-year old? Guess Not.

Whoever encoded the draft invitations for my wedding deserves death by papercut.  It was nothing, NOTHING short of horrible. 

To think that they were about two days late.

I mean, typos everywhere! Tipo bang hindi pinag-isipan, tapos banat lang nang banat!!! I could’t really fathom why such a thing could happen when we’ve e-mailed a file meaning: THERE WAS A DRAFT TO FOLLOW AND IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF COPYING!!! How could you possibly suck at copying??? My niece Shaine would have probably done a better job than these guys.  Man.

Will someone please explain to me how:

(1.)  “Edwin” became “Win;”

(2.)  “As we are united” became “As we united” — right. LoL. Wait it should be sooooo Scream Out Loud right now..

(3.)  “North Bridgeway” became “Noth Bridgeway”

And then some more that are absolutely unacceptable –

(4.)  My “Maid of Honor” suddenly became “MATRON of Honor.” (How the eff did that happen?!?! She doesn’t even have a boyfriend right now!!!!!!!!! Do they know the kind of trouble they are trying to subject me into?)

(5.) “Vena” became “Vina.” (Remember CUT AND PASTE???)

(6.) My brother’s middle name “Gerard” became “GerardO.” (OMG.  Totally butchered his name!)

aaaaaaaaaaand….

(7.) Just tell me how the hell ”Flower Girl” became “Flower Girls”…when there’s just ONE NAME LISTED?!?!

Poor in Grammar, Reading and Comprehension?

***

The thing is I did not even scrimp on the wedding invites.  In fact I could have gotten a better deal with its direct competitor (Mind you, the owner was the one assisting me), if not for THAT particular design I was just so lusting after.  

We’ve paid for this, my mom even made sure to make the payments personally. Why? WHY????

***

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.  Wait.  Think happy thoughts.